Letter to the press

I got bored tonight and decided to write a letter that could be sent to various local media outlets in an effort to consider covering our little cause. This isn't final, so feel free to critique and offer suggestions. Yes, it's tl;dr.

To Whom It May Concern:

I am a representative of a loosely organized group of individuals known as "Anonymous." In recent months, we have been receiving attention for participating in worldwide demonstrations against the Church of Scientology. Due to safety concerns resulting from our target's known policy of harassing critics as well as their friends and family, my own personal information, as well as the personal information of those I associate with, cannot be disclosed. If necessary, a pseudonym (David) can be used to reference the words written in this letter, as well as any further comments made through other mediums by the author or an associate of the author.

I'm writing this letter to address members of the local press within the Reno/Tahoe metropolitan area who may be interested in our upcoming local efforts to demonstrate against the Church. As you may or may not know, across the United States, as well as in other far-reaching areas across the world, members of Anonymous have been participating in protests at Scientology churches or in major public meeting areas to speak out against what we feel are human rights abuses made by the church, ranging from harassment of critics, to the covert murders of innocent practitioners. Additionally, the church has been condemned by many former members and staunch critics as being nothing more than an elaborate pyramid scheme, in which practitioners are scammed of most of their finances and left indebted to the church. This letter will not go further into answering any deeper questions about what it is that we're protesting, the reasons we protest, and why we're Anonymous. For that, we have included a packet of information created by various members of Anonymous across the globe that will provide answers to the most complicated questions. The protests have been large-scale in several locales, with cities such as Los Angeles, San Francisco, and London having protesters in the hundreds.

Here in Reno, we have been making tremendous efforts to attract several to our cause, to the point that our last protest on April 12th of this year had up to 20 protesters, double the number from the first protest that took place on February 10th. Thus, it is safe to say that our movement has grown, and is continuing to grow as we speak. We have noticed, however, that there has been little to no coverage of our efforts by local media. Considering the small presence of both our target – who operate a mission rather than a full-scale church – and our own faction, we can understand why our efforts up until now have not been quick to attract your attention.

As we approach our next demonstration on Saturday, May 10th, we ask you to consider us as a local story or feature in your news program/publication. This is not a plea for you to advertise our efforts. Rather, this is a plea to consider covering our efforts within the context of a larger, more widespread effort being made by thousands of individuals across the globe. One important reason to consider our efforts is that the various Anonymous who have been involved in the most recent local demonstrations are all young adults hailing from various locales in Northern Nevada, and not simply outsiders trying to make noise in an area they have no business being in. Therefore, your viewers/readers will immediately have that connection readily available to them.

If you proceed with this story and desire further correspondence with a representative of the local faction of Anonymous, you are welcome to send an e-mail to xxxx@xxx.xx or by calling (775) XXX-XXXX. At the actual protest, several Anonymous will be available to participate in interviews or to answer any questions you may have.

We look forward to hearing back from you.

PROTEST INFORMATION:

Saturday, May 10th
Corner of Virginia and Maple St's,
Facing Walgreen's
11 AM – 3 PM, appx.

Sincerely,
David

The "David" part was more of a lol thing than anything, but it's probably the best way to go.

Looks good! I don't see anything that needs editing.

Very nice. Perhaps consider leaving your name as "Anonymous" rather than supplying a psuedonym, although such a simple pseudonym sounds mysterious-yet-familiar since it's also such a common name. After all, its lulzfactor is lost outside of Anonymous.

At which point you may be able to supply any other of the memespeak names from the Enturb thread.

Kip Mudd perhaps?

I would change "church" to "organization"
other than that I like it